So last week I was driving home from school, when all of a sudden, a pair of white vans moved into position in front and to the left of me. (I was in the rightmost lane.) They slowed me down and when we stopped, a man in a dark suit and a crazy rainbow wig approached the window. Anxious, I rolled my window down.

He grinned in at me. "Greeble the fax fox fig," he said. Before I could respond, he opened the door and another clown-wig-clad man appeared in the passenger seat. They picked me up and carried me into the back of one of the vans. Inside, there was a tiny blue car; they threw me behind the wheel and shouted "Good luck!"

In an instant, the floor of the van's bed rose up in front and the blue car rolled out the back. Then I heard a deafening boom, looked in the rearview mirror and saw a pack of motorcycles headed toward me; several riders shot mahine guns into the air. Just then, I looked down and saw a manilla envelope on the passenger seat; it read "This car can only go in reverse. You have ten minutes to get across town."

Actually, this is all a pack of lies, but it's more interesting than the truth: I've been alternately busy and uninterested in blogging over the past week -- but I think I'm over it now.

HalliBush Wars, Inc.


Man, what can I say? Tami Silicio took this picture of our soldiers coming back in flag-draped coffins, and so she got fired. Bush declares he's supporting Israel's intention not to withdraw from the West Bank and the Associated Press calls it an "historic policy shift." Hundreds of Iraqis have been killed in the recent Falluja seige, and Gen. Richard B. Myers claims "There has never been a more humane campaign." What good is commentary at a time like this? People who agree with me will just nod their heads; those who disagree will claim I hate Freedom.

MusicForAmerica did a good treatment of Bush's "Those WMDs must be around here somewhere" joke at the March Radio and Television Correspondent's Dinner.

Or here -- have some fun with the George W. Bush Speechwriter.

Or for actual information, watch this documentary on The Carlyle Group. Very revealing. Thanks, Sharyn.

Random

Hey, John Stossell is a lying jerkwad. What a shock!

Hakuin rocked. And he was a good artist, too.

Check out these famous (and infamous) firsts.

In other news: Men are now obsolete. Thanks, Nate.

TimeWaster™

Very cool Windows music. Via ABS.

Today I'm listening to: Joi!