This is so ridiculous. I can't decide whether or not to buy San Andreas. You all know why I'm hesitating, but I've been trying to sort it out in my mind. I went into a video game store today to try and find out whether or not you can still pay prostitutes for sex as a way to health-up. I couldn't find any info in either the instruction book or the strategy guide. The guy at the counter said "I assume it's still the game" with an idiot smile, which indicates to me that he sees this attribute as a good thing.

So then I started wondering: What sense does it make for me to keep from buying this game? It's not like I'm making some big impression to RockStar games. It's not like my students say to me: "Wow, what a refreshing and principled stance for an adult to take; perhaps I should rethink some of my assumptions about gender, given the points you make about the vast sickness in which we as young people are ensconced, vis a vis gender relations."

So then I start thinking about Dead to Rights, a game I bought and played an enjoyed. It features a scene where you must -- as a stripper -- perform a striptease as a way to distract guards so that the hero can sneak past them. Is this not worse than the optional prostitute feature in GTA? How can I reconcile this paradox in my mind? (I can't.)

So then Diane comes back from San Francisco and tells me about an ad she saw for the game featuring a women bending forward, licking her lips seductively as if to say "Play this game and you'll receive oral sex." Now, if a clothing company tried to sell its products this way, I'd boycott their product on principle. (Oh yeah, I did this back when Bugle Boy had its sick series of ads featuring scantily-clad models with the tagline: "We know what guys like.")

So then IGN comes out with its review which says "It's the defining piece of software for Sony's successful sophomore system, and it's almost impossible to imagine a PlayStation 2 library without it. . . . This is the best PlayStation 2 game ever made. Period." So what kind of a video-game addict am I if I hear nothing but glowing, off-the-chart reviews about how this is the absolute MUST HAVE game, but I refuse to overlook a (relatively small) aspect in the background?

So then I bring it up with my students and they all remind me (thanks, I was almost ready to forget, despite the fact that this is what EVERYONE says in response to my points) that I don't HAVE to sleep with the prostitutes. And it -- like so much else -- becomes just another case of me talking and going nowhere.

This is so dumb. I wish I could just find a way to allow myself to go and freaking buy the damn thing already.

Sigh.

TimeWaster™

I don't know. I'm too bummed out right now. This is the first thing today on ABS. Maybe it'll be good. I don't really even care.

Today I'm listening to: Myself typing.