Hey, guess what? Turns out things in Iraq aren't so bad after all! According to Helle Dale, the deputy director of the Davis Institute for International Studies at The Heritage Foundation, the problem isn't Iraq -- it's the media.

Admittedly, the security situation is dire, but look at these figures. In October, the number of Iraqis killed was 775 from acts of war and murder; American troops suffered 63 casualties and 691 wounded. This is too many, but at a time of a major military offensive against insurgents, those numbers are not gigantic.

And as we all know, you can't trust numbers anyway. "Those who have the opportunity to hear the accounts of Americans serving in Iraq often come away with a completely different impression," Dale notes. But isn't this just anecdotal evidence? Well, she quotes Thomas Friedman to dispell that simplistic attitude:

“I will be guided by the U.S. Army and Marine grunts on the ground. They see Iraq close up. Most of those you talk to are so uncynical -- so convinced that we are doing good and doing right, even though they are unsure it will work.”

So in other words: Thomas Friedman has heard from some optimistic soldiers, which shows that his optimism is based on .. more than just .. anecdotal evidence. Or something. Well, the important thing is that the soldiers' hearts are in the right place. Or something.

Either way, things aren't as bad as they look. Why, Don Rumsfeld even predicts we'll be out of there in four years! Just in time for another election. Quelle coincidence!

Asked by reporters traveling with him whether United States forces would be out of Iraq by the end of his term, Mr. Rumsfeld paused to ask whether that meant a second four-term term. When told yes, he then said, "I would certainly expect that to be the case and hope that to be the case."

What could be clearer? Only Tommy Thompson's recent comments about terror attacks on our food, which -- it turns out -- were wrong, sorta. Or something. Bush recently provided some clarity.

"We're a large country, with all kinds of avenues where somebody could inflict harm," said Bush, asked about the issue after an Oval Office meeting with Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf. "We've made a lot of progress in protecting our country, and there's more work to be done, and this administration is committed to doing it."

So, you know -- don't worry. Much.

Fortunately, the Democrats are recognizing that their pathetic toadying to Bush's asinine rhetoric and warmongering cannot continue. Tom Tomorrow posted this item recently, which you should check out.

We've got to repudiate, you know, the most strident and insulting anti-American voices out there sometimes on our party's left... We can't have our party identified by Michael Moore and Hollywood as our cultural values.

—Al From,
CEO, Democratic Leadership Council

Spine? Who needs a spine? Just because Kerry very recently got stomped thanks to his wishy-washiness and unwillingness to oppose the freaking war from the start -- and Daschle got kicked in the pants after being a sellout bozo for months and months -- and so many Dems got trounced thanks in part to their failure to provide a viable alternative, especially with regard to economic and military policy -- got that, DLC jerkfaces? What the Dems need to be is an ALTERNATIVE to the Bushites, not clones of them! Growl cough spit.

Pic from Iraq Uncensored. Go look at it.

Less Stressful Items

Welcome, Jesse's blog! Now if only the text were a little bigger and you had some RSS action for us. (I recently started using Bloglines, a web-based RSS reader. Pretty handy!)

Cheers to Iron Monkey for his modernized proverbs.

Proverb: Don't count your chickens before they're hatched.
Problem: People don't count unhatched chickens any more, or watch them hatch. Modern bioengineered chickens are grown in vats.
New Proverb: Don't count your share of the Nigerian exile's fortune before it's wired into your account.

Best cardboard sign asking for money EVER!

Attention teacher friends: Do not use doorstops unless you wish to spend time in jail.

Would you believe I'm back into the MUDs? I'll bet I'm the first person ever to go from GTA:SA to an online text adventure. Yeek!

TimeWaster™

This is a pretty cool skateboard jump. Thanks, MoFi.

Today I'm listening to: Synaesthesia!