Are you stupid? Do you have very bad taste in things? Do you need flasshing lights and wacky visual effects in order to pay attention to the world around you? Do you have a standing prescription for psychoactive drugs due to an overdose of television? Do you drool on yourself a lot? Are you unable to tie your own shoelaces? Do you have a large glob of tapioca pudding where your brain ought to be?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you're sure to enjoy Cosmic Bowling! It's the exciting new phenomenon for people who don't want to see the lanes. Thrill to really bad "extreme" music played on the PA while spinning lights prevent you from lining up your shot! Piss yourself with joy as you notice that your shoelaces glow when they're under a blacklight! Try to chuckle nonchalantly as you screw up yet another frame because you can't concentrate or see anything! It's more fun than stabbing yourself in the eye with a spork!

You can tell Cosmic Bowling is a bit hit, because whereas the phrase "cosmic bowling sucks" brings back zero pages on Google, the phrase "cosmic bowling rocks" brings back six -- including one from JeepSingles.net ("Cosmic bowling ROCKS! [stupid icon of a smiley face giving a thumbs-up] Well, not as much as jeep chicks, but it's fun."), and one at the ugliest webpage I've ever seen.

I can't wait for the next step in this idiotic trend -- Extreme Libraries! ("Dude, the book you're looking for is in our cosmic fiction section! Go past the blacklight and turn left at the spinning disco shelf.")

TimeWaster™

Sheep Dash is fun for a few seconds. I hope they make Extreme Sheep Dash next!

Today I'm listening to: Groove Salad!