I got my taxes done today. (TPCQ: "Look at those idiots. I paid my taxes over a year ago!") I owed a chunk of change to Uncle Sam, but Uncle Wisconsin is going to give me twice as much back, so it's all good.

Still, suddenly having to pay $200 hurt, so I pondered the concept of taxes and recited Chris Rock's routine several times to myself. ("During the year, you don't even pay tax. They just take it. You get the check, money gone! Then they come around in April every year and they need more money! 'Uh, can I have a little more? The Pentagon needs a paintjob!' Uncle Sam is on the pipe!") Then I started to think about where my tax money goes.

Here's my proposal: Since my tax dollars pay for cluster bombs filled with depleted uranium that get dropped on neighborhoods in Badghdad, I feel like I deserve to get a little something for all the money I give toward this noble goal. Here's my proposal.

Obviously I can't ask to have one of these cluster bombs myself -- Bush and his friends need them, and we can't just have random Americans with access to dangerous weapons like cluster bombs. But is there any way I could get one of the dead Iraqi children, so I can do some scientific and medical tests? I'd even be willing to give it back after a year or so.

[Note for those who do not understand satire: You should learn to recognize and appreciate satire.]

Other

Today when I got home, I had the best message ever on my machine. Enjoy. (I should make like Penguin Calls and make a flash movie with it.)

Myst IV: Revelation sucks. More in a future post.

Check out the happyface spiders. I like the one in the middle of the bottom row.

TimeWaster™

Check out The 5th Avocado. I think it's by the same people who did The End of the World, but I don't know. Sure sounds like 'em.

Today I'm listening to: Cornel West!