Mitch Hedberg died on Wednesday. He was my favorite comedian currently performing. Say hi to Bill Hicks for me, Mitch. [pic]

Mitch Quotes

My lucky number is 4 billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. "Come on, 4 billion! [expletive]. Seven. Not even close. I need more dice."

An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see a escalator "Temporarily Out of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs... Sorry for the Convenience ... We apologize for the fact that you can still get up there."

When you go to a restaurant on the weekends and it's busy they start a waiting list. They start calling out names, they say "Dufrane, party of two. Dufrane, party of two." And if no one answers they'll say their name again. "Dufrane, party of two, Dufrane, party of two." But then if no one answers they'll just go right on to the next name. "Bush, party of three." Yeah, but what happened to the Dufranes? No one seems to give a [expletive]. Who can eat at a time like this -- people are missing. You [expletive]s are selfish... The Dufranes are in someone's trunk right now, with duct tape over their mouths. And they're hungry! That's a double whammy. Bush, search party of three! You can eat when you find the Dufranes.

TimeWaster™

Here -- stare at the dot.

Today I'm listening to: Mitch All Together!