Today on the floor in the hallway I found a fragrance sample from Vera Wang. Never one to turn my back on free designer colognes I find on the floor, I opened it and rubbed it on my temples and wrists. Now I smell like Wang.

I'm not usually one to revel in Beavis-and-Buttheadism, but c'mon. If you're trying to make a name for yourself – especially urging people to smell like you – why not choose a nom de plume, or at least call your cologne something else?

"Ooh, what's that enchanting fragrance?"

"It's the latest scent from Josef Rectum."

"What's it called?"

"Josef Rectum."

"Get away from me. I have a gun."

I'd just like to say once again that I smell like Wang.

TimeWaster™

Check out the Vera Low Prices at Senor Cardgage's Senioral Day Supra Sale. Home Lawn. I dunno.

Today I'm listening to: What I always listen to!