We watched the new Transformers movie this weekend. It was the most horrible atrocious piece of crap since Swordfish. Wretched! So there's a car, and it speaks with songs through the radio for some reason, and then the girl's driving a hundred miles an hour to rockin' thrash music, then Optimus Prime (who, thank heaven, remained a semi truck) starts blabbering on about how courageous and noble humans are, and the Barbie model British lady beats all the NASA scientists to cracking the alien code, and there's a boom box which finds the kid's grandpa's glasses on eBay, and then the fifty-foot brightly-colored robots hide – successfully! – from the kid's parents.

And who gives a [bad word] about the soldier we barely meet, trying to get home to his newborn daughter? Get to the murderous death robots! Oh, that girl he's trying to hook up with is a felon because she had to help her dad steal cars? Who [very bad word]ing gives a flying [inappropriate language]!? Go [bad word] yourselves, humans! Let's see some more laserbeam painbots attacking each other, please! If John Turturro hadn't been in it (and what the hell is he doing in that turd of a movie?), it would have been completely worthless.

Oh, yeah – the special effects were pretty cool. But it should have been 20% talking and 80% robots destroying cities and each other. Not the other way around! And here's another thing – taking an overweight black man and making him act like a total buffoon, but then also saying he's a genius master hacker is not avoiding stereotypes! Arrrgh!

I should have known, after Armageddon. If I'm ever tempted to watch another Michael Bay movie ever again, please sign me up for a frontal lobotomy. I mean, look at the guy – what a monkey turd!

Then today I had to listen to my students enthuse about how excellent the movie is. And only one – one – had seen 1986's Transformers: The Movie cartoon. At least he understood.

So then I went around looking for said cartoon film at Best Worst Buy, and Borders – nothing. I guess I'll have to find it online. Those stores didn't have Krush Groove either.

Sigh.

TimeWaster™

Transformers the way they're supposed to be! Note the total lack of moron humans and their cretinous efforts to get back to their newborn babies.



Also: Peep Coach Z and Peacey P's rap song! And ya don't stap!

Today I'm listening to: Autechre! The most excellent IDM (damn I hate that term) album of all time? Well, one of the most excellent, surely.